Memorial Day

has such a bigger meaning when those close to you are lost. Remembering today all those from the past who have paid the ultimate sacrifice and their families left behind. And especially remembering friends and family who have recently lost their heroes. I wish I had the words to make it better. Keeping everyone close in prayer.

If you want to add in your prayers and rememberances, here's a list of heroes fallen in combat from Afghanistan and Iraq the last few years. I know not everyone supports the efforts in these wars, but these brave men and women did and every single one of them has a family or someone who cares that they are gone from this life. Please remember them not just today on Memorial Day, but every day, and if you can, show you support them not just with a yellow ribbon stuck on your bumper but with a thank you or a charitable donation to one of the many non-profit organizations that supports servicemembers and families of the fallen. http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2004/oef.casualties/2010.05.html

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all you wonderful mother's out there who have the honor of having the best and sometimes the worst job in the world, many times in the same day... I've spent the day with my four little darlings, whom I thank God for letting me borrow for our time here on earth. We just did normal stuff today, slept in and snuggled a bit in my bed since 3 of them were already in it, got up and BB made me coffee while I took a shower (I showed him how to do it yesterday!) and then they gave me their sweet cards/poems/plants they made at school and we headed out for lunch at Texas Roadhouse which was a madhouse! But much of the day I've spent thinking about my mother and how much I miss her still and trying to keep her memory alive with what I tell my kids of her and what I teach them that I learned from her. Yes, she had her faults like we all do, and many of mine are a reflection of hers! She was disorganized and messy. Cleaning up the kitchen after one of her masterpiece meals was sometimes a two hour chore! I learned the 'dash and stash' method of cleaning before company from her! She was a packrat and had a terrible time making decisions about what to keep and what to throw away, so most of it got kept. She had a hard time talking about how she felt about things and I know bottled many things up inside until she would blow her top. She distrusted doctors and tended to blame her health problems on 'allergies' and would try every natural remedy she could before heading to a doctor. She would probably agree with me on most of that and would be modest about all the things she did so well and that list is so much longer than the previous:
She loved us all. She was a wonderful cook and taught us to be creative in the kitchen. She loved making people feel special by making them something whether it was dinner, a dessert, a beautiful cake, a wedding dress, a coat, a flower arrangement, or all of the above at once! When we were cleaning the garage after she died we found several gifts she had made and packaged but never quite got sent... She was spontaneous and fun and seemed to work best under pressure although not always on time. She worked hard and was well liked by her employers and co-workers. She never said you can't do that because you're a girl or not smart enough or... She was funny and witty and sarcastic and sometimes had the worst puns! She stood up for us when it was important; we didn't shop at Sears for about 10 years after they were rude to my brother and she told the employee and manager to take a hike. She had a sense of adventure which was a good thing married to my dad. He liked to go where he wanted to go and we got taken along for the ride, so she would find some redeeming point of wherever we were and could pack the best picnic lunches on short notice. She had a wonderful laugh. She believed that Jesus was her Saviour and is with him now! She loved us... I guess my hope as a mother, is that my kids will look back on their childhood and the good points will far outweigh the bad and that most of all they will know they were loved!

Continuing theme....

in many conversations now is when is daddy going to be home and how much we miss daddy and LG seems to be bringing it up the most... So, yesterday while at BBs baseball practice, LG is trying to get a friend's dad to play with her (he looks like J from behind!) and then she came over to me and said 'can I have a new daddy?' and I said 'nope, you're stuck with the one you got' and then BG chimed in that 'we can have a step-daddy!' and my response even though my heart is breaking inside, is 'no way, that would be way too much work for Mommy!' as the ladies behind me are giggling... So bittersweet the way they can look at things. I know they are missing their dad so much, just as I am, but just don't understand why he can't be here. I'm not (usually) one to whine about our circumstances especially when it's our decision to live this crazy, wonderful, mostly rewarding life, but I do worry at times about the effect it's having on our children. J is an awesome dad and husband and we love him and miss him so much when he's gone and I try to keep things constant and you would think it would get easier the more times we do it, but each seoeration seems to be harder than the last! The kids are doing fine overall and I know they'll bounce right into J's arms and won't let go for a few days when he gets back (hopefully next month!) and we're definetly keeping busy until then, maybe a little too busy...

I'm usually not one to get the kids into a ton of activities all at once, because I really don't like having to rush around and get them from one thing to the next and I just think our kids don't get enough time to just play, but for some reason we've got too many things going right now! The girls still have ballet until the end of the month when they have their recital (on Memorial Day weekend, whose idea was that?) and BB is playing baseball T and TH and BG is playing soccer M and W. Not that big a deal since they are only an hour each day, but that little bit of extra has thrown my already disorganized self into turmoil! I have a reminder on my phone for all my appointments (which is great if I put them in there) so my little beep went off at 4:35 yesterday and we were supposed to be in Watertown (20 minutes away) at 5:00 for ballet photos... in costume, and BB had baseball practice at 6:30. So I called my friend whose son is on BB's team and she agreed to take him, so he had to get his stuff together and walk down the street, then I had to get the girls and LB in the van with all their costume stuff and tights and shoes, ran back inside a couple of times for hair things, brush and my phone and camera. BG changed in the car on the way there and I threw LG's costume on her in the parking lot and rushed her in there just in time for the group photo of her class!
Of course my nerves are jangling and LB keeps trying to run out of the studio while I'm trying to get BG's hair done and check written to pay for pictures. But, photos are done, BB made it to practice and we stopped at McDs for dinner. Think I'll do some menu planning this weekend so I can actually have dinner made before we head to practice next week! And I already changed the reminder time on my calendar and it makes a louder noise now too... I love how LG is looking up to BG in this picture and trying to be just like her!


The littles and I also visited a local greenhouse this week and picked up a few more plants to stick in our pots. Of course it's supposed to snow again this weekend (or wintry mix) so I'll have to bring them in again but since we still don't know anything about where we're going or when, I'm going to have a few plants to enjoy while we are here! Here's a picture of the pansies in the greenhouse and who could resist buying those. The smell was awesome too, almost wanted to eat them!



LG has been in dandelion heaven lately also! She loves picking them and anytime we're outside and passing some, she has to stop and grab a handful. On the way into church last Sunday she was offered several jobs to come clear some lawns...



BG was helping pick too and she is wearing one of my old dresses that my mom made for me one Christmas. I don't remember if I was in first or second grade, but the dress is definetly well worn!





I'm so happy things are finally green again here! We are supposed to freeze again this weekend and there's a high wind advisory for tomorrow, but at least it's green! We've seen a bunch of deer again and lots of turkeys and some other wildlife too. I want to go look for the beavers that are supposed to be here on post also, but don't really want to chance LB falling in the lake, so I'll save that for a day when J can come with us...

Driving in the car

always brings up the best conversations... We were coming home from soccer practice and LG said "I want Daddy, right now!" So then we talked about when he was going to be home and BB said "It will be National Ride on Daddy's Shoulders Day when he gets home and Daddy will let me drink coke all day and buy used games at Gamestop every time we go to the PX." BG said, "Daddy will play games with me and watch me ride my bike." and LG said, "Daddy gives me marshmallows, not big ones, little ones like in my hot cocoa!" and then she said, "I want Daddy!" again. LB didn't join in because he fell asleep on our walk through the woods during soccer practice... Anyway, we all miss the daddy, but I'm glad they're thinking of all the stuff they get to do with him when he does finally come home.

Other than missing J, we've been keeping busy with various springtime activities, although if we get another snowfall like yesterday, I may have to revoke spring as my favorite season... BB is playing baseball and BG is playing soccer so we've got practice 4 days a week with the sports. BG and LG are also still doing ballet on Saturdays with a recital the end of May and BB is still taking piano lessons and actually enjoying practicing! LB's main activity is still running his mother ragged... We've also started attending a local church most Sundays and it's great how quickly the kids pick up a habit. I didn't even tell them last Sunday and they were up and ready to go! I bowled for the last time yesterday for the league I'm in and can say that although still inconsistent, my average improved quite a bit over the last few months and so did my other teammates' so we went from 8th place to 2nd!

We're still waiting to hear if/when we will be moving away from here and getting a little frustrated with the not knowing what's going on. I'm trying to stop myself from going crazy planting a huge garden if I'm not going to get to enjoy it! But I think it's a compulsion to plant stuff...

I love this age...

the twins are at now! Three and a half and they make me laugh every day in wonder at the things they come up with and how their little minds work and I'm really enjoying their company. Maybe because they have each other to talk to and play with, it takes a little of the pressure off me to keep them occupied and interested in whatever game they are playing. LB likes to hand me a sword (be it a stick or a straw or any other sword shaped thing) and sword fight but then runs off and finds LG or big brother to play with also. He can play with his playmobil guys for hours at a time and I love listening to the stories he makes up for them. He and LG played in the bathtub for 2hours this afternoon making stuff up with playmobil guys, barbies and polly pockets. They had a couple of merpeople so I heard him ask "where are you mermommy, your merbaby is here?" "Let's go in our mercastle now." He does like to be specific in his wording. And LG is quick to have an answer for him although she likes to tease him too, with an answer she knows he won't agree with or pretending to 'sleep' complete with snoring, when he wants her character to do something...

BB and BG are at a great age now too, not that I didn't like them at other ages, but they are getting more independent all the time and they have been a big help with the littles since J has been gone again the last couple of months. They are both doing great in school and just brought home their report cards last week with no major issues. Both are liking reading now and BB is starting to read books that I like too! I read the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series (except the last one) before I let him have them, just because I liked them and didn't want to be interrupted! They both want to be outside now that there is no snow on the ground and I have a hard time getting them to do their chores and homework first, mainly because I want to be outside too!

A 'conversation' came up today on facebook about falling short as a parent and how we think other people are doing so much better than we are as parents. And it was refreshing to see people confessing their shortcomings in that area and realizing that there are no perfect parents out there. And if you think you're perfect, just ask your kids! I can certainly say that there are so many days that I feel like a failure to my kids because they ate cereal for dinner... again, or I don't read to them or play with them enough or discipline consistenly enough or sometimes have to call 3 different houses to locate my 8 year old or I'm not teaching them to pick up after themselves or my LB isn't potty trained yet or I yelled at them for no reason or they spent too much time with a babysitter this week or it's 10 pm and none of them are asleep yet or... the list goes on and on and on... but God is the one perfect parent and He trusted us with these precious lives and even gave instructions for raising them in His Word and lets me know that I'm not alone and if I will but trust in Him, He will give me the strength every day to try again. I often pray 'thank you God for these beautiful children but please help me not to ruin them!' So next time you're feeling like everyone else is a better parent, just take a look at my list up there and know that many others have one just like it, whether they admit it or not!

Just a few things that made me laugh...

The twins are talking a lot now and so I hear the funniest things sometimes! Thought I would share a few while I still remember them:

LG's favorite movies: "Snow Wipe" and "Sleeping Booty"
LB's favorite movie: "Gumbo"
LB is pretending to be a 'vampirate' and bit LG on the hand this morning.
The vacuum cleaner was on the stairs with the cord going down and LB said "I need to climb the mountain" and tried to rappel down the cord... Fortunately he had a light hold and didn't bring the vacuum down too!
LG on food: "Abocados make me happy, Mommy!" "I like peas in my mouth!"
and LG will start a conversation with anyone, usually about her hair... because she likes 'blowing' hair which means long.

That's about all I can remember right now; they keep me laughing so I'm sure there's more to come!

Thankful for...

so many things. Here's a little list of my 'thanks' for this year:

-Thankful that my husband is safely home at the head of our table this year
-Thankful for all the husbands and daddies who are not able to be home with their families this year.
-Thankful for good friends to spend the holiday with and hope that next year maybe we'll both have a husband at home!
-Thankful that my mom was such an awesome cook
-Thankful that my children are enjoying their piano lessons
-Thankful for techonology that allows us to keep up with family and friends in this far apart world
-Thankful for my little twins who are learning so fast and so much and even thankful for the messes sometimes because I know they won't last and I'll miss this time soon enough
-Thankful for my big boy who does so much to help and is such a good brother to his siblings
-Thankful for my big girl who is smart and wise beyond her years
-Thankful that we are all healthy
-Thankful for good health care and doctors
-Thankful for my family even though I miss them so!
-Thankful for my friends who have become family
-Thankful for the love of my husband
-Thankful for the love of God, his mercies and blessings and his Son, my salvation.